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I don't want to.I don't want to see you again. I don't want to hear your voice. Except that I do. I don't want to think of you with her. I don't want to imagine all the kissing and hugging that you two do. I don't want to imagine you whispering sweet nothings to her. Like you used to with me. I don't want to face the reality of what you did to me. I don't want to think about the laughs and hugs and kisses we shared. I don't want to acknowledge that you're in the wrong. I don't want to blame you. But I have to.
Above all else, I don't want to let you go.
I want to love you.
But I'll never get the chance.
To be with you.
But I never have been, and I never will be.
I have to face these facts.
No matter how much I don't want to.<i>
Nine TimesI saw him nine times.
The first time we were both sitting in the room together, getting ready to take the math test that would determine our placement. I was scatterbrained and throwing things around, trying to find the pencils that I had known I would need but had still just tossed in my purse. He was lounging backwards in his chair, looking for all the world as though he didn’t have a single care in the world, including the upcoming test. It annoyed me, that I was frantic and ready to scream, while someone else could be that relaxed.
I tested out of the class.
I don’t know if he did.
The second time I saw him, it was a few months after I arrived on campus. He was the one rushing and frantic this time, running across the square. He was probably late for class, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I was already lost in my own thoughts and ideas, deciding on my major and convincing people that yes, this is what I really want to do with my life. If they weren
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